Detaching is not bad. Learning to let others be who they are can be challenging for you. Detaching is about letting letting others be responsible for their actions and choices. If you find it hard to allow others to suffer consequences based on their choices, maybe its time for you to detach. Detaching is not an action of retaliation however its a deliberate choice of allowing yourself to be free from trying to control outcomes for others disguised by "you love hard"