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Grief during the Holidays is hard

Writer's picture: Cherlette McCulloughCherlette McCullough

Managing grief during the holidays can be especially challenging, as the season often brings heightened emotions and reminders of loss. Here are some strategies that may help1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

  • It’s important to recognize and accept that grief can feel more intense during the holidays. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up sadness, anger, loneliness, or even numbness. Don’t feel pressured to "be happy" just because it’s the holiday season.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

  • It’s okay if you’re not able to engage in all the holiday activities you typically would. Set realistic expectations for what you can handle and give yourself permission to skip events or traditions that are too painful this year.

3. Create New Traditions

  • If old traditions feel too difficult, consider creating new ones that feel more manageable. This could include a quiet day of remembrance, lighting a candle for your loved one, or engaging in an activity that honors their memory in a way that feels right for you.

4. Reach Out for Support

  • Don't isolate yourself. Whether it’s family, friends, a support group, or a therapist, reaching out to others can provide comfort. Talking about your feelings and sharing your grief can help reduce feelings of isolation. Even if you don’t feel like talking, being around others can help.

5. Practice Self-Care

  • Pay extra attention to your well-being. Make sure you’re eating well, resting, and taking time for activities that soothe you, such as going for walks, reading, or engaging in a hobby you enjoy. Taking care of your physical and emotional needs will help you navigate the stress of the season.

6. Honor the Memory of Your Loved One

  • Find meaningful ways to remember and celebrate your loved one. This could include making a special meal they enjoyed, donating to a cause they cared about, or sharing memories with others who knew them. Honoring their memory can help you feel connected to them even though they are no longer physically present.

7. Set Boundaries

  • It’s okay to say no if you need to. If you’re invited to a holiday event but don’t feel up to it, it’s perfectly acceptable to decline. Protect your energy by setting clear boundaries and prioritizing your emotional needs.

8. Allow Yourself to Enjoy the Holidays (When Ready)

  • It’s also okay to experience moments of joy during the holidays. Feelings of grief and joy can coexist, and it’s important to allow yourself to experience happiness, even in small doses. Feeling guilty for moments of enjoyment is normal but try to remind yourself that it’s okay to smile, laugh, and be present.

9. Consider Professional Help

  • If grief becomes overwhelming or you're struggling to cope, it may be helpful to seek professional support from a therapist who specializes in grief. They can offer coping strategies and a safe space to explore your emotions.

10. Mindfulness and Grounding

  • Practicing mindfulness and grounding techniques can help you stay present in the moment and reduce overwhelming feelings of sadness. Focusing on your breath, engaging in a body scan, or using grounding exercises can help calm your nervous system when grief feels all-consuming.

11. Give Yourself Time

  • Grief doesn’t have a set timeline, and it’s important to remember that the holidays may be particularly hard in the first year after a loss. Give yourself permission to grieve at your own pace and in your own way, without rushing the process.

     

By being gentle with yourself and finding ways to navigate the holidays that are in line with your emotional needs, you can better manage grief during a time that can be especially difficult.

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