"You got to stop confusing chaos & pain for love and chemistry"
A young lady who may have grown up with a mom/dad/caregiver who was unpredictable, inconsistent, unresponsive, neglectful, chaotic, or abusive, may find trauma bonded relationships in their adult life comfortable because it feels familiar due to her upbringing. It’s the blueprint that she grew up with that's guiding her adult relationships.
So just as she may have justified, rationalized & appeased her abusive parents, this cycle is now repeated in her trauma bonded adult relationship.
Trauma Bond relationships move incredibly fast & are overwhelmingly intense & passionate. (lots of good sex)
The chaos & intensity of a trauma bonded relationship distracts you from the danger signals. (red flags)
Cycles of abuse & manipulation, being treated poorly time after time, create a bond that we don’t want to leave. We know they will be nice & maybe even kind again. So we stay, because the feelings are so wonderful during the Kind times.
We hang in there & we keep trying, waiting for them to be nice again. We know it’s coming we just don’t know when. This inconsistency is a key element of the trauma bond. The reward & occasional payouts become the rationale for staying.
The constant back & forth, the alternating between good experiences & abuse creates confusion, dissonance & constant justifications.
If this is your story…it’s time to seek help to destroy this cycle. If you want help breaking this cycle, call us today 407.230.4582.