Things to Consider after a Break Up
3 Things to Consider after a Break Up
by Cherlette McCullough
You’re single now. Has it been really difficult to move on after the break up? Have you found yourself consumed with your Exe’s life? Break ups are hard emotionally. No matter what kind of relationship whether it was short term or long term. Here are three tips to use quickly after the break up.
Exes can’t be your Friend after the Break Up
Being friends with your ex can be extremely confusing for one of you or both. This type of friendship is different because it started as a physical relationship. These relationships often make you stay in the past resulting in you not moving on to the right relationship that you deserve. When it’s over; let it go.
Delusions after the Break Up
Stalking your ex by going to their social media pages, calling their family asking about them and their new love interest, showing up to places at times you know they are there, making excuses to call them, making situations with the children bigger than they are for attention. All of these will keep you stuck. It’s important to know if your ex has moved on its time for you to shift your focus to you and your children…not the ex and their new love interest. Also because you have custody or more time with children it may seem like your ex has more free time, but that doesn’t mean that your life is less full filling. You too can have friends to go out to functions and enjoy yourself. It’s time to let those delusions go and get into reality and live.
You may be Single but you are Not Alone
It’s a total change from being with someone daily to being without that person at all. We are creatures of habit. Of course at the beginning of the break up it takes deliberate effort to get used to being without the ex. Let yourself have fun discovering who you are all over again. Long-term friends can help during this time. It’s a good idea to stay in the company of positive people who love and respect you. It’s your time to get to know you. What makes you happy? Getting to a place where you love yourself whether you are in a relationship or not.
After a break up allow yourself to feel the emotions of sadness, anger, frustration and exhaustion. Trust me these will become less and less overtime. Creating boundaries after the break up is a good idea. Understand that you will have good days and bad days. What’s vital is that you acknowledge these emotions, try not to ignore them.
If you find yourself in this situation talk to a trusted friend, make an appointment with a therapist or journal. The goal is to get those negative emotions out of your head. Don’t allow the negative emotions to keep you stuck and prevent you from moving on in your healing journey.
Cherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that counseling should be tailored to the needs of the client. Her goal is to help you explore the negative beliefs that are keeping you stuck and are no longer beneficial. Cherlette will help you replace them with positive beliefs that will help you move towards growth and your desired change.